So…this week I go to hospital to have the pre-cancerous growths removed from my colon. I am nervous about the procedure, but my gorgeous husband put this spin on it. This is the last part of this healing journey for you. You have worked so incredibly hard to deal with your abuse trauma and to heal through your spiritual journey, but the body has always been a huge challenge. It is as if all the pain, the fear, the hurt, the resentments, the betrayals every bad emotion and thought I have had about who I am and what happened to me are growing there in these horrible things inside of me…and they are going to be cut out. All gone…a new Megan will be in the place of the old sad broken one.
I think it is a good way to look at it. Through being committed to healing myself, I did not succumb to the cancer that might have been. I have changed the future by catching it early. That is empowering. It gives me control and understanding about what I need to do and the changes I need to make to ensure that I do not become a victim of cancer too.
I am still working on really truly feeling into that. I am scared. I don’t like invasive procedures and hospitals, and pretty much any of the stuff that it involved in dealing with this. But it is better than the alternative…so I am working on the gratitude.
Here is the interesting bit. I heard some news that really knocked my socks off. My nana’s house, the one where a LOT of the abuse I received happened is also literally being demolished this week. The person who owns it tried to sell it, but couldn’t, so instead they are going to knock it down and build a brand new house there.
The house of pain is GONE! My pre-cancer growths, GONE! In the same week.
I am a sign seeker. For me, that is just a super amazing synchronous timing thing. Some of the energy gurus* about are saying that we are in a phase were we are receiving energetic upgrades right now…well this sure feels like I am the recipient of some pretty sweet upgrades to my energy system. It is as if they will both no longer exist and I feel like there is a magical laser beam of change that is literally erasing crap out of my life.
Have a read over here if you didn’t catch my last blog about the visit to the doctor about menopause that has saved me from getting bowel cancer. And over here in this blog, I tell you about the meditation I did that I feel was my connection to the upgrade energy that has helped me to face the shadow that is manifesting the syndrome that is giving my these cancer type growths. (edited to add: there is one more post about the energy healing I have been experiencing in this series that came after I came home from hospital, that completes this little series of blog posts. This last one is a bit intense…but it also describes what life on the spiritual path really can be like.
**If you follow the spiritual leaders and astrologers of the world, you will know that we are in an energetic period that is considered to be at a point of collective pause from a great inhale to the great exhale. We have been contracting and very soon, the energy will shift and intensify and rapidly expand. We will be in a space to create the next phase in our life journey and we are setting in motion the wheels that will turn for us into the next 30 year cycle. For me personally, then, this time is a sense of completion in regard to this particular trauma cycle. I am looking at moving into a time of full integration of all that I have experienced and learned and will begin to offer more in terms of external connections. Meaning more of my internal world will become available to the outside world as I begin to become more visible with others by offering services to the world and sharing more of myself.
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